existence priorities 24.10.24

I am entering a new chapter of my existence.

I now live the life of the person I envisioned becoming over the past 12 years.

Twelve years with a vision so vivid it defies explanation, and a suffering so deep whenever it seemed threatened.

Twelve years of constant testing, using every means possible, to uncover my true self.

Now, the present demands a reassessment of my priorities in this life.

Not “career priorities.”

Rather, “existence priorities.”

First, I want to commit to my craft with daily patience and love.

I want to give myself to it in such a way that when my art reaches the world, those it touches may find their faith in “a life well lived” renewed.

Next comes a second priority: passing on this faith to my students.

This is a serious and difficult task.

Consider the example of Jesus.

He spoke to the masses, yes, but held close only a chosen few—the 12 apostles.

He guided them personally, conferring with them daily and caring for them individually.

He set a measure for himself and accepted the limits of his human capacity.

For the first time, I must determine my own limits in terms of quantity.

How many disciples can you offer your most nurturing gaze?

I returned from the sauna tonight, realizing it is not about indulgence or hedonism, but truly a way to recharge.

I don’t know why it works, but it does.

Recharging brings new thoughts, deepens my text responses with compassion, and expands my capacity to create good.

Is there a third priority?

At this moment, I see all other aspects of life as serving the first and second priorities.

I want to create more space to receive those before me with greater presence.

The signal of this greater presence is when I am surprised by my own emotions.